August 24, 2010

• to care or not to care..the agony of defeat

  some people know this about me, but i don’t have a favorite team like the dodgers of the lakers. some of you are die hard fans who are overjoyed with every victory and miserable after ever loss. my brother is like that with the dodgers. i think i used to be that way, not necessarily with the dodgers, but just with teams in general. but i don’t anymore. if you ask me why, i’d tell you that it all stemmed from my experiences rooting for nancy kerrigan and michelle kwan at the winter olympics and being horribly disappointed with the outcome. it was too much and it was after those events where *spoiler alert* they didn’t win that i decided not to cheer for any one team/athlete with my whole heart. 

  it’s difficult. the agony of defeat. when i played volleyball competitively, there were many moments when i was afraid to mess up, esp. during college. i didn’t want my teammates to hate me, i didn’t want my coach to be mad at me, i didn’t want to lose, etc…i was so anxious about these things and i remember praying during those moments not to be anxious and to trust the Lord with it. of course, deep down i was praying to trust the Lord so that i wouldn’t mess up and our team would win. 

  there’s a lot that i’ve learned through the years about losing and handling those losses. when i play in leagues now or even when it’s more competitive, i’m not as afraid to get the ball or to mess up during a tight situation. i’d like the opportunity to try to do something rather than not try out of fear. i don’t want fear to dictate my actions. 

  hmm..i seemed to have made two different points with my first paragraph and my third. ok, well with my first paragraph about not cheering for any teams, i realized how actively choosing to not invest in a team for this reason is not a good habit for me to cultivate. this doesn’t mean i’m going to become a die-hard dodger or laker fan or anything, but it means that i don’t want to become the type of person who doesn’t invest in friendships or people out of fear of being hurt or let down.

  in both types of situations, whether as a spectator cheering for a team or as an active participant playing on a team, you’re putting yourself out there. you will either win or lose. no one likes to lose..no one likes to experience that feeling you get when you lose, but don’t try to run away from it. accept it, be thankful for the opportunity and grow from it. all this is possible because God is in control. He is in control of all the victories and all the losses. and if in those losses it causes us to be less dependent on ourselves and our abilities and more dependent on God and His power then awesome! mission accomplished. 

  
  

  • 12:57 am
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